Take time, take risk

Once I decide to be friends with someone, I would take time to know the person, share joys, sorrows, and go deeper. And I would expect the same from them.

As a friend, take time to go deeper. If you cannot, we cannot be friends. Once a bond is formed, maybe we go away and meet after years. But that bond has to be there. It takes time. It takes depth.

With depth, there is always a risk. Cannot be friends without opening up. Some folks just don’t open up. Some think they do, but they don’t.

If you cannot open up, there will always be a wall. Opening up means risk. Vulnerability. Chance of getting hurt, risk of being judged. If you’re not ready for that, don’t spend the time.

The bond is not strong enough, and we will drift.


A corollary to this, since life is an energy management problem, bonds are hardly formed in groups. Maybe 3 or 4 max. But friendships are always formed one to one. Groups are great for a cause, hangout groups are just shallow. I know, having lived in groups for 4 years at hostels.

Most amazing relationships were formed afterward, meeting them one on one.

PS: This is forming relationships. Staying is a different thing altogether. A formed bond takes many other factors to be maintained.