Excessively Outcome-driven

Human mind has the capacity to imagine. This means we can generate options and narrow down choices in our minds. That means we already know how Strawberry ice cream will taste versus Bitter Gourd ice cream.

So we do not make Bitter Gourd ice cream at all. Save energy, get better results.

But we’ve taken this superpower to its extremes.

Today, we do not act unless we know the outcome reasonably well. Too many walls to protect us. If I want to go search for a house, I want to know the minutest of details, a near-exact estimation of time required to check out the options, and a Pinterest board full of images that make a collage of a house in my mind.

We do this for everything in life. Excessively.

Need to find a balance and weigh the process as equally important regardless of the outcome.

That is the difference between someone who seems to be a risk-taker and okay-with-failure compared to someone who keeps themselves cocooned.

Balance between thoughts and actions is evermore important today.

Take time, take risk

Once I decide to be friends with someone, I would take time to know the person, share joys, sorrows, and go deeper. And I would expect the same from them.

As a friend, take time to go deeper. If you cannot, we cannot be friends. Once a bond is formed, maybe we go away and meet after years. But that bond has to be there. It takes time. It takes depth.

With depth, there is always a risk. Cannot be friends without opening up. Some folks just don’t open up. Some think they do, but they don’t.

If you cannot open up, there will always be a wall. Opening up means risk. Vulnerability. Chance of getting hurt, risk of being judged. If you’re not ready for that, don’t spend the time.

The bond is not strong enough, and we will drift.


A corollary to this, since life is an energy management problem, bonds are hardly formed in groups. Maybe 3 or 4 max. But friendships are always formed one to one. Groups are great for a cause, hangout groups are just shallow. I know, having lived in groups for 4 years at hostels.

Most amazing relationships were formed afterward, meeting them one on one.

PS: This is forming relationships. Staying is a different thing altogether. A formed bond takes many other factors to be maintained.

The world is always in balance

The world is always in balance. It is just the human beings who cannot see it.

Cyclones, cycles, violence, politics, power. Some of the things that seem off-balance most of the time.

But they are always in balance. Exactly as they’re supposed to be. We just can’t see it yet.

What do we do in such situations? Make Gods and devils out of things and people we do not completely understand. It is a shortcut our mind takes to fill the vacuum of being not evolved enough.

Early humans couldn’t understand figure out why the moon did not show up on some days. They said the devil ate it. When it showed, they made the moon a God.

Now we know.

Our understanding of selves lags behind our evolution.

When our conscious understanding overtakes the speed of our evolution, just like the Anthropocene, there will be a great change.

Till then, remember, the world is exactly the way it is supposed to be. We are not.