trauma is fuel. don't release it

There’s a conversation I have with a certain kind of founder. Very smart. Factual. Always correct. Hedged. And I tell them the thing nobody says out loud: a little less intelligence would have done you a lot of good.

The founders who get funded right now aren’t being funded on product. They’re being funded on attitude. A VC listens for whether you believe, in your core, that you’re better than them. Probably they know you’re bluffing. Doesn’t matter. If you can fool them, you can fool the market.

I learned this the hard way pitching a16z in Soho years ago. They keep you waiting in a room. They come in six minutes late. They talk like you’re not there. By the time I started I’d lost it. I was pitching up to them. The moment that happens, it’s over.

Where does the attitude come from? Usually a chip on the shoulder. I got rejected by every Mumbai VC in 2012 because I wasn’t from an IIT. I was pissed for years. That was useful. Then I lost everything in 2018 in meme coins. Also useful. YC figured this out ages ago. They don’t try to make founders calm. They channel the trauma. Don’t release it. Don’t do self-love, it’ll make you soft. Point the thing at the work.

Fear beats reward as a motivator. I can put a billion dollars on one side of the table and a knife on the other. You know which one you’ll listen to. The Dark Knight gets out of the pit when he leaves the rope. Most of us never leave the rope. We hedge. I hedge. I know it, and I know it’s why I’m not going as hard as the guys I back.

The practical version: say the ambition out loud. Send the five people you respect most a message every month that says I’m building a billion dollar company. You’ll feel stupid. That’s the point. Once you’re known as that guy, the fear of being wrong does the work for you. Nobody humble gets honest feedback, because nobody bothers to argue with someone who isn’t claiming anything.

the call where i said it best

A founder I’ve known for years was raising for a very good business and kept saying “I think we could maybe get to”. I told him he’s too humble, and that nobody will ever tell him no because he’s not making a claim they can reject. By the end of the call he said, “actually, I am building a billion dollar company”. I said that’s it. Now you have nothing left to do except not disappoint yourself.

do this this week

Tell your dad what you’re actually trying to build. The real number. Watch what happens to your week.

the line to remember

if you can take trauma and use it as fuel, then founder. if not, then not a founder.